you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
