You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
