just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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