have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
