i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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