How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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