You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
