it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
