You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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