if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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