No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize