don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize