This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
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