I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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