I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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