so explain again why im purple
no
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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