There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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