Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
