Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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