Non-Jews are for practice
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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