I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
