And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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