was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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