found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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