In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just blew my weed a kiss
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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