I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
