Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
