Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
