am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
