this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I deserve this hangover.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
