He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
