"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
