iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
