that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize