Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
