so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
