You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
