let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
