How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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