did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
