Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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