I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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