i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
