A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
