it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
