I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize