i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize