Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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