If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
