You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
