i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
