I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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