from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
