Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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