Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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