in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
