She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
