The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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