He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
