Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize