Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
